Agency helps survivors deal with grief

CADILLAC - In the Cadillac area, the journey through grief does not have to be a lonely one.

After a loved one dies, the pain a person feels and questions they have does not go away once the funeral is over. In some cases, it may take weeks, months or maybe years to get over the loss.

To help people who are grieving in the Cadillac area, Hospice of Michigan is offering grief support groups.

Cindy Bardenhagen, certified social worker, said Hospice of Michigan is expanding its service in the community by offering groups for grief support.

"All groups are open ended and open to anyone who has lost someone through death," Bardenhagen said. "Anyone can come."

Bardenhagen said most of the people who attend the groups seem to want to know if what they are feeling or experiencing is normal. The groups allow the people to either express their feeling or sit and listen in a private environment where nothing is shared once the meeting is over, she said.

Emery Hinkston, grief volunteer and retired pastor, also helps with the grief groups. He said the group may help men or women when they feel overwhelmed.

"Sometimes people are so overwhelmed and they don't know what to do with all the new stuff that seems strange and not normal," Hinkston said. "For some people it feels like being physically sick."

For some men, dealing with the loss of a spouse or loved one may be difficult because they are not sure how to feel, Hinkston said.

"We are constantly told to swallow our feelings or to 'be a man.' There is no shame in feeling," Hinkston said. "We need to come to a place and own the feelings that are ours, anger, depression and guilt are all normal."

While there are different groups, both Bardenhagen and Hinkston said the goal is to provide a safe place to be with people who are experiencing the same thing.

"It's an honor to be with people at a time when they are more vulnerable than they have ever been," Bardenhagen said. "I receive it as a gift when they are sharing their feelings. I can't walk the journey for them but I can walk on the journey with them."

For more information about Hospice of Michigan or the grief groups in the area, call Bardenhagen at (231) 779-9570.