[Warning: The below contains MAJOR spoilers for Season 5, Episode 3 of 90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After?]
From Paul's mom practicing tough love to Larissa having a "half-sexy" blind date to Tania still in her cast, this week's all about dissecting both literal and emotional crutches.
Bye Bye Brazil
Karine officially says farewell to her family in Brazil as Paul packs up a van for the airport. Her mother, Gracilene, holds their son Pierre before their flight to Kentucky. "I hope she'll be fine," Gracilene cries.
Paul, Karine, and Pierre leave for the U.S. "I'm nervous, excited, but also scared," Karine admits. "I want to see Paul's city and if I can get used to it."
In Chicago, Colt prepares to leave his own loved one, Jess. They discuss compromises, building communication skills, and plans for how to continue their relationship. "After Larissa, I never thought I would find love again, but with Jess, I think that we have a future together," he tells the camera.
Colt and Jess awkwardly dance and take selfies in a park. She repeatedly states that she loves him, while he brings up his fears of a potential long-distance relationship in six months after her visa is up. Jess flirts with the idea of Colt sponsoring her on a K-1 visa, and surprisingly he is open to the idea—whatever it takes to keep her in America.
Jess invites Colt to come with her to Brazil on vacation so he can meet her family. "This is a really huge step for us and I'm glad that Jess and I are starting to talk about what our future looks like together," he smiles.
A Half-Sexy Blind Date
Colt's ex-wife Larissa is also exploring a new romance. It's apparently been difficult for her to find a boyfriend because all guys want to do is hike for their first date, implying they're cheap. She does have a point: hiking sucks. Thus, Larissa jumped at the chance to meet Matt, a friend of a friend, for a blind date.
A sleek Matt brings a gift for Larissa and gushes about her beauty and "put-togetherness." They engage in standard small talk: where they're from (Oklahoma and Brazil, respectively), what they do, etc. Matt says that he's "half white, half sexy" which is most likely a charming phrase he picked up from an Oklahoma rest stop t-shirt. Larissa just eats it up though. We later learn that apparently the "half sexy" is in reference to Matt's Egyptian heritage.
He orders caviar and asks Larissa if she's "into philanthropy." Was he made in a TLC test factory for ridiculous airhead Ken dolls with greased back mullets?
Wherever he came from, his so-called charisma is working on Larissa. "Matt sounds successful," she gushes. "He's more elegant than me. I feel like he can teach me how to be a lady." She's upfront with him about having children in Brazil and also her legal history: "Guess what, I got arrested!"
Matt swishes white wine and expresses his concern over her three arrests. "It's certainly not my preference," he grins to the camera, while his eyes express sheer panic. "I'm not really sure if she's looking for love, like true, intimate, passionate, realistic, authentic love or if she's just looking for a Green Card."
Lost in Translation
Andrei calls his parents in Moldova to tell them the good news about their upcoming wedding. Since Elizabeth's father Chuck agreed to pay for everything, Andrei is ecstatic. Their tentative date is November 9, but they really can't get to planning without being in Moldova.
Andrei tells his parents they're planning on staying at their house, but this is news to Elizabeth. The trip is going to be three weeks, according to Andrei, but she has been completely in the dark.
"Why are you planning all this stuff without me?" Elizabeth asks, and he uses their language barrier as an excuse for his poor communication. "You're making me the bad guy in this situation...You're just totally not understanding me right now."
She instead wants to rent a place with her family that are traveling to Moldova just for their wedding, but Andrei is adamant about staying with his parents. She agrees to stay with her in-laws for a few nights to see how it goes.
Syngin prepares for his first job interview at an Irish pub. "I am worried about Syngin bartending full-time and just being in that environment," Tania says to the camera. She is supportive and hopes he finds the right job fit. Regardless, Syngin is feeling the financial pressure since both of them have been out of work.
The interview itself is somewhat rocky. Syngin doesn't have much cocktail experience and is slow when pouring a Guinness. The bartender says he'll get back to him.
Where There's a Will, There's a Way
Angela meets with her immigration lawyer to discuss making a will. After she marries Michael, she wants to make sure that her grandchildren will still receive their inheritance and have a right to her house. "I don't want [Michael] getting everything...I'm not spring chicken," she explains. "This is weird: I'm talking about a death and I'm getting married."
They still haven't received the official denial letter for the K-1 visa, and that could factor into their plan for a spousal visa. Angela's lawyer advises that she continue to wait to see why Michael's visa was denied. "I'll just have to trust Michael enough to marry him in Nigeria...because I need Michael over here as fast as I can get him so we can start our life," she tells the camera.
Asuelu found out about a measles outbreak in Samoa, and his family wanted to make sure that his toddlers are immunized before traveling. Asuelu tells Kalani, but their seven-month-old son Kennedy might be too young for the measles shot. They agree to go see a doctor before booking their trip.
Ride or Die
Paul, Karine, and Pierre land in Kentucky. Paul's mother Mary picks them up. Paul's notorious packing system resulted in a slew of oversized luggage, and he struggles to load everything into the car.
Mary pays for them to stay at a hotel as opposed to staying with her. On the way there, Pierre begins crying and Karine takes him out of the car seat. Paul freaks out that Karine is "breaking the law" and yells for his mother to pull over the car. "This is why you can't live with me. You get on my nerves," Mary responds. Paul jumps out of the car in the middle of the street for dramatic effect, while Mary mumbles that he's "such an idiot."
Elizabeth goes wedding dress shopping for her second ceremony in Moldova. "I'm excited to hopefully have my dream wedding," she says.
Her mother and sisters meet her at the bridal boutique. Two of her sisters can't go to the wedding because of the short notice and their own new babies. There are rumors that Andrei purposefully planned it so they couldn't be there.
"When you fall in love with someone from another country, sometimes you have to make tough sacrifices," Elizabeth coldly states. She repeats that it's due to her daughter Eleanor's baptism, and her sisters say that it's an intentional attempt to hurt their feelings. They cry and hug, but the animosity towards Andrei is clear.
Elizabeth also finds her dream gown, complete with a faux fur shrug for modesty and warmth during a winter wedding.
Making It in America
Post-Lady Bird leap, Paul and Karine unpack in the hotel. She hopes that the U.S. will be like how she's seen it in the movies, with baseball and no sewers. She's mostly concerned about the lack of support from Paul's family, especially financially.
"This is the time for him to show us that he can take care of us," she states. "But if Paul doesn't keep his promises, I don't know for how long I'll continue here in America."
No Witness, Big Problem
Angela tries once again to convince her daughter Skyla to act as an American witness to her wedding to Michael. "As fun as that may sound, I can't Mama," Skyla says. She can't take off work or leave her children and grandmother. "Doing all this for something I don't support is not worth it."
Angela begs Skyla and says she did go to a lawyer, just as Skyla had asked. Angela calls Michael to break the news about Skyla. "It's up to you to convince her," she tells him.
"Skyla, we need you, please," Michael pleads. Skyla is completely against their wedding and refuses to consider it.
Angela is leaving in two weeks for Nigeria and now has to scramble for a new witness. "At this point, it's all falling apart," she tells the camera.
Kalani and Asuelu bring their kids to the pediatrician. The doctor examines both boys, and Kalani asks about possible risks with an early measles vaccine. The pediatrician assures them that Kennedy getting the vaccine would be fine. However, she advises that if the trip can wait, they should consider postponing.
Kalani says she feels more comfortable waiting. Asuelu also casually assumes the female doctor was actually a nurse because a "doctor has to be a boy." He believes a trip to Samoa would be safe since they'll just stay in the hotel.
"The safe place would be America," Kalani firmly states, looking out for what's best for their children. "I feel like this is something we can put off just for the safety of everybody."
Larissa never heard back from Matt after their date. She goes to see her friend Hannah who set it up. Hannah works as a body sculptor, and presumably their "friendship" is rooted in the fact that Larissa is a client. Larissa has a micro-current session with Hannah for her abs.
Larissa opens up that she saw Colt post a photo with his girlfriend Jess. "Are you actually jealous?" Hannah asks, especially since Jess is also Brazilian. Larissa says no, but she wants to warn Jess how "scummy" Colt is.
Tania has a doctor's appointment for her leg. He tells her that arthritis may be an issue down the road and to continue her physical therapy. The doctor also says it'll be about six to 12 weeks until she can return to bartending.
Tania understandably is worried about her future job options. "Now that I'm going to be out of work even longer, I'm really going to have to rely on Syngin a lot more than I expected," she tells the camera.
Back at their new house, Syngin comes back from the bar. He tells her he most likely did not the bartending job, and to make himself feel better, he had a few drinks. Tania recounts what her doctor told her about her foot and knee, and Syngin is not too happy about the delay in her recovery and the possibility of her having arthritis.
"My patience is starting to run thin because I don't feel acknowledged a lot of the time and it really hurts," she cries in a confessional, confronted with his drinking.
Elizabeth and Andrei arrive in Moldova, and Larissa seeks "payback" against Colt and calls Jess. Karine realizes how Paul's life in America is different than what she expected, plus Colt tells Debbie about his upcoming trip to Brazil.
Michael meets with his mother to discuss other options for having a child, and Kalani grows more frustrated with Asuelu.
Maybe married life is not so Happily Ever After after all! Until next time.
90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After?, Sundays, 8/7c, TLC